HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017 EVERYONE!!!
This is such a crazy, busy time of year, but I wanted to stop for a minute – although I’m continuing to write amidst the chaos – and wish all of you an amazing and wonderful Merry Christmas and a New Year 2017 that’s filled with joy and prosperity! Enjoy your friends and family, and be encouraged to go after your dreams in the New Year. Do what you love and don’t listen to anyone who tells you not to go for it. Be unstoppable and refuse to give up!
BE AMAZING!!!
Solitaire
12 Ways to Handle “Toxic People”
Hello Readers,
It’s hard to believe we’re at the close of November, heading into December – The Christmas Season. Where does the time go? Way too fast, that’s for sure. I was thinking about the pros and cons of the holiday season which triggered a subject that we all have to deal with, not only during the month of December, but all year long. That issue we call “Toxic People.” This season seems to bring them out of the woodwork more than any other time of the year. I guess when you take the hassle and stress of everyday life and then add the hustle and bustle of the holidays on top of it; you get very disgruntled and often malevolent people. You’ll find them everywhere – at home, at work, at the shopping mall, driving down the freeway, or at the grocery store.
How do we deal with these exhausted, exasperated, furious, and anxious human beings? Well, I came across an article that was very enlightening. It was written by Dr. Travis Bradberry, who is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional. Intelligence 2.0. Here is some of the information from that article.
Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress.
Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus—an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to neuronal dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other), and months of stress can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a formidable threat to your life success—when stress gets out of control, your brain and your performance suffer.
You need to manage your emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. To deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach that enables you to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. The important thing to remember is that you are in control of far more than you realize. These are the things you need to master:
Set Limits (Especially with Complainers)
Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral. You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.
Don’t Die in the Fight
Victorious people know how important it is to live to fight another day, especially when your foe is a toxic individual. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.
Rise Above
Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it; their behavior truly goes against reason. Which begs the question, why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix? The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink, if you prefer the analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos—only the facts.
Stay Aware of Your Emotions
Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so. Think of it this way—if a mentally unstable person approaches you on the street and tells you he’s John F. Kennedy, you’re unlikely to set him straight. When you find yourself with someone who is engaged in similarly derailed thinking, sometimes it’s best to just smile and nod. If you’re going to have to straighten them out, it’s better to give yourself some time to plan the best way to go about it.
Establish Boundaries
This is the area where most people tend to sell themselves short. They feel like because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Once you’ve found your way to Rise Above a person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when you don’t. For example, even if you work with someone closely on a project team, that doesn’t mean that you need to have the same level of one-on-one interaction with them that you have with other team members. You can establish a boundary, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you are bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to encroach upon them, which they will.
Don’t Let Anyone Limit Your Joy
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what toxic people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.
Don’t Focus on Problems—Only Solutions
Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress. When it comes to toxic people, fixating on how crazy and difficult they are gives them power over you. Quit thinking about how troubling your difficult person is, and focus instead on how you’re going to go about handling them. This makes you more effective by putting you in control, and it will reduce the amount of stress you experience when interacting with them.
Don’t Forget
Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget. Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on. It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. Don’t be willing to be bogged down unnecessarily by others’ mistakes, so let them go quickly and be assertive in protecting yourself from future harm.
Squash Negative Self-Talk
Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it. Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary, and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of. You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs.
Limit Your Caffeine Intake
Drinking caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline. Adrenaline is the source of the “fight-or-flight” response, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re surprised by an angry person.
Get Some Sleep
I can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams), so that you wake up alert and clear-headed. Your self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. A good night’s sleep makes you more positive, creative, and proactive in your approach to toxic people, giving you the perspective you need to deal effectively with them.
Use Your Support System
It’s tempting, yet entirely ineffective, to attempt tackling everything by yourself. To deal with toxic people, you need to recognize the weaknesses in your approach to them. This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on a challenging person. Everyone has someone at work and/or at home who is on their team, rooting for them, and ready to help them get the best from a difficult situation. Identify these individuals in your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need it. Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective. Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation.
Bring It All Together
Before you get this system to work brilliantly, you will find yourself tested by touchy interactions with problem people. Thankfully, the plasticity of the brain allows it to mold and change as you practice new behaviors, even when you fail. Implementing these healthy, stress-relieving techniques for dealing with difficult people will train your brain to handle stress more effectively and decrease the likelihood of ill effects.
So there you have it. Maybe by using some of these techniques we can keep the stress levels down and make it through the holidays and even our lives!
Have a great day and don’t forget to check out the information and books on my website. Reading is a terrific stress reliever and books make a wonderful gift!
If you have any helpful ideas, please let us all know. We can always use another stress reliever or way to deal with those toxic folks out there.
Solitaire
20 Motivational Quotes to Inspire Success
Ours is an ever-changing world; one in which we often times have very little control. Our beliefs, expectations, and the way we choose to think and feel about ourselves and others determine everything that happens to us. We only have complete control over one thing in this world we live in – our thinking – and what actions we take as a result of those thoughts. Using our minds to consider or reason what we should do will determine the results that we get. If we change the quality of our thinking for the better, we can change the quality of our lives almost overnight.
So below, I have listed some great motivational quotes – some which you have probably heard many times but hold true – so that you can take control of your thoughts, think positively and make life changes that will ensure success.
Walt Disney – “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”
Rob Siltanen – “People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe – Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Wishing is not enough, we must do.”
Dr. Henry Link – ” We generate fears while we sit. We overcome them by action.”
Albert Einstein – “Creativity is intelligence having fun.”
Theodore Roosevelt – ” Do what you can with all you have, wherever you are.”
C. S. Lewis – “You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
Brian Tracy – “Fake it until you make it. Act as if you had all the confidence you require until it becomes your reality.”
Helen Keller – “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”
Harvey Mackay – “Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. I firmly believe that when I am positive, it not only makes me better, it makes those around me better.”
Confucius – “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
Charles R. Swindoll – “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
Norman Vincent Peale – “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be happy.”
William James – “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”
Aldous Huxley – “There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
Robert H. Schuller – “Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.”
Mark Twain – “Courage is resistance to fear – mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”
Unknown – “Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.”
Unknown – “Life has 2 rules – 1. Never quit, and 2. Always remember rule #1.”
Unknown – “Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
So here’s to thinking positively, being fearless, and living life to the fullest. Have a great day!
Solitaire
HORROR Books to Keep You up at Night!
One of our oldest and strongest emotions as human beings is fear. Strangely, the mind seems to look for things that are scary; we build haunted houses, spend our hard-earned money on Horror Movies, and read Horror Novels. It does seem a bit macabre that we as humans tend to frequent this genre. Life is filled with fearful moments – we fear death, being alone, a lack of money, losing a job, losing a family member, and the list goes on and on. Yet there is that adrenaline rush that the darkness and the unknown can produce which is like no other to make us feel alive. So why does horror mystify and almost entrap us? Maybe it is our unending curiosity or we are attempting to test our courage in an increasingly unpredictable world. Whatever the reason, it attracts millions of people, especially around this time of year at Halloween. So here are a list of some of the authors of classic Horror books that evoke the emotions of fear, surprise, and terror to keep you up at night!
Mary Shelley – Frankenstein
Bram Stoker – Dracula
Stephen King – The Shining, Pet Sematary, Carrie, Salem’s Lot, Cujo, Misery (to name a few)
Edgar Allen Poe – The Fall of the House of Usher, The Black Cat, Murders in the Rue Morgue,
The Pit and the Pendulum, The Masque of the Red Death
Clive Barker – The Hellbound Heart, The Damnation Game, Coldheart Canyon, Cabal,
Demons and Deviants
Dean Koontz – Odd Thomas, Phantoms, The Bad Place, The Taking, Dark Fall, Watchers,
The Demon Seed
Anne Rice – Interview with the Vampire, The Witching Hour, The Queen of the Damned
Jack Ketchum – The Girl Next Door, Off Season, The Woman, Hide and Seek, Offspring
H.P. Lovecraft – Dreams of Terror and Death, The Road to Madness, Tales of the Cthulhu Mythos,
Bloodcurdling Tales of Horror and the Macabre
Peter Straub – The Floating Dragon, A Dark Matter, Ghost Story, Koko
Ray Bradbury – Something Wicked This Way Comes, Dark Carnival, A Memory of Murder
Ramsey Campbell – The Face That Must Die, The Darkest Part of the Woods, Ancient Images
There are, of course, many more authors in this genre that you can check out at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and many other online stores.
Also available on my website is a horror/thriller – “VENGEANCE OF THE WOLF”
Have a Horror-ific Holiday!
Solitaire
15 TV Shows & Movies with Genetically Modified Humans
Having just published a book about genetically altered children, “Tinker Smith and the Conspiracy of Oz”, I thought it might be interesting to track down some of the TV series and movies where this possibility has been explored. I have seen many of these, being a Sci-Fi buff. I have quite a collection of DVDs that range from (in my opinion) great to really terrible, but I enjoy them all. I have to say though, the Sci-Fi books in most cases, are far better than the movies. I guess being an author I would say that, but I have found it to be true.
Here are fifteen of them that you might want to check out –
ROBOCOP – 1987 – In a dystopic and crime-ridden Detroit, a terminally wounded cop returns to the force as a powerful cyborg haunted by submerged memories.
LUCY – 2014 – A woman, accidentally caught in a dark deal, turns the tables on her captors and transforms into a merciless warrior evolved beyond human logic.
IN TIME – 2010 – In a future where people stop aging at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year, having the means to buy your way out of the situation is a shot at immortal youth.
X-MEN – 2000 – Two mutants come to a private academy for their kind whose resident superhero team must oppose a terrorist organization with similar powers.
TRANSDENDENCE – 2014 – A scientist’s drive for artificial intelligence, takes on dangerous implications when his consciousness is uploaded into one such program.
DEADPOOL – 2016 – A fast-talking mercenary with a morbid sense of humor is subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers and a quest for revenge.
ICE SOLDIERS – 2013 – A scientist discovers the bodies of three frozen genetically modified Russians buried in the Canadian North. Upon thawing them out he realizes he has unleashed a deadly threat to Western society and must stop them at all costs.
GATTACA – 1997 – A genetically inferior man assumes the identity of a superior one in order to pursue his lifelong dream of space travel.
PROMETHEUS – 2012 – Following clues to the origin of mankind, a team journey across the universe and find a structure on a distant moon containing a monolithic statue of a humanoid head and stone cylinders of alien blood but they soon find they are not alone.
THE 6TH DAY – 2000 – Futuristic action about a man who meets a clone of himself and stumbles into a grand conspiracy about clones taking over the world.
THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU – 1996 – After being rescued and brought to an island, a man discovers that its inhabitants are experimental animals being turned into strange-looking humans, all of it the work of a visionary doctor.
HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP – 1996 – While a town is in a state of alert, the monster of the sea keeps mutating the townspeople at an alarming rate. A researcher finds a genetic disorder that has been caused by a chemical that has been dumped into the water that has caused the creature to have an alarming appetite.
DARK ANGEL – TV – 2000 – A group of genetically-enhanced children escape from a lab project. Years later we meet Max, one of the escapees who now works for a messenger service in the post-apocalyptic Pacific Northwest.
SPIDERMAN – 2002 -Having been bitten by a genetically modified spider, a nerdy, shy, and awkward high school student gains spider-like abilities that he eventually must use to fight evil as a superhero after tragedy befalls his family.
THE FLY – 1986 – A brilliant but eccentric scientist begins to transform into a giant man/fly hybrid after one of his experiments goes horribly wrong.
You’ll find my books at numerous locations – click here to learn more – www.solitaireparke.com
Solitaire
“Tinker Smith & the Conspiracy of Oz” – AVAILABLE NOW!
Return to the world of Oscar Zoroaster, The Wizard of Oz and many of the characters from L. Frank Baum’s classic books. Enjoy a whole new world where Oz is once again in the spotlight, along with ten genetically altered children who are attempting to save the world from this power hungry scientist who is determined to control the world with a computer virus. Johnny and his father meet Tinker, one of the ten children and together they forge ahead in the hope of survival in a strange world of machination and espionage. Their survival could be determined by how they utilize their fantastic genetic abilities, but will they have the determination to stop Oscar Zoroaster, and yet retain some semblance of their own humanity in the process?
The Iconic characters of L. Frank Baum’s beloved classic “Wizard of Oz” books are revived once again with an entirely new twist that is more in step with the present times.
”TINKER SMITH & THE CONSPIRACY OF OZ” is available at $0.99 for a short time in e-book format from Smashwords.
Also available in paperback at my website – www.solitaireparke.com
Happy reading!
Solitaire
NEW OZ BOOK COMING NEXT WEEK!!!
In the year 1900, L. Frank Baum published the “Wonderful Wizard of Oz”, and then subsequently released thirteen more Oz books over the years until his death in 1919.
For generations his books have been an inspiration to children, and adults who still believe themselves to be children. I am one of those lucky people, and decided to take my Oz oriented adolescence to the next level. I’m not a big proponent of “Fan Fiction” but I love the idea of taking the essence of certain Oz characters and thrusting them into a non-related story.
After having read the entire original series again, I took my favorite characters from Baum’s books and incorporated them into a book from a place called Langwidere. Princess Langwidere appeared in the classic “Ozma of Oz.” In my new book Langwidere the Princess was morphed into a summer camp for children, not a good atmosphere, but one meant for genetic change and mutation. It became the foundation for introducing a group of very gifted children that help define the new world of Oz.
In my forthcoming book “Tinker Smith and the Conspiracy of Oz“ you will find genetically altered children who escape into a dystopian world that is nearly destroyed by its maker, Oscar Zoroaster . . . The Wizard.
The children are comprised of ten genetically altered summer camp attendees, who go on to redefine goodness, hope, and courage. The children’s character and personalities are not the same as in the original books, but they grow as the story continues, showing how moral fiber improves through adversity. The children’s characters that I chose are as follows –
- Tinker Smith (Tinker and Smith)
- Johnny
- Jinjurs
- Lurline
- Eureka
- Glass Cat
- Tik-Tok
- Frogman
- Button Bright
- Kaliko
Here are the additional characters –
- Oscar Zoroaster
- Cayke
- John Does (Soldiers)
- Dorothys (Followers)
- Frank Baum (Farmer)
All other characters in the book are purely fictitious, and have been selected from my own demented mind to interact with the original personalities created by L. Frank Baum.
Each of the children has been imbued with super powers far and beyond human, and yet they find humanity in their adventures. I cast Oscar Zoroaster as the arch villain, simply because I thought it was funny, and to give him the chance to perform an exciting new role in the tales of Oz.
Have you read the “OZ” books? If so, what was your favorite book and/or character?
Solitaire
Cover Reveal – “Tinker Smith & the Conspiracy of Oz”
COVER REVEAL of the new novel by the author of the Dragomeir Books and the Larger World Series, SOLITAIRE PARKE is excited to introduce –
“TINKER SMITH & THE CONSPIRACY OF OZ”
– The Iconic characters of L. Frank Baum’s beloved classic “Wizard of Oz” books are revived once again with an entirely new twist that is more in step with the present times –
Ten children are stolen from their parents while at a summer camp and genetically altered. They have become part human and part something else, each with extraordinary capabilities. These new abilities cause them to become freaks in a society that is being altered by the geneticist who made them – Oscar Zoroaster, the self proclaimed Wizard of Oz. His technological prowess is far beyond standard science and he deploys it on an unsuspecting populace causing worldwide chaos. This evil genius wants to reshape the world using a computer virus called EPITOMY and will stop at nothing to achieve his goals.
Johnny, a young boy and his father find themselves thrust into this world of espionage and technology that stretch their imaginations to the limit. Johnny meets Tinker, one of the ten children, and together they forge ahead in the hope of survival.
Unknown to anyone, Oscar has created a subprogram within the virus, the Oz Immortality Sequence. In the event of death – reanimation takes effect. Can it be stopped, or has Oz unleashed a technological mammoth that will bring the world to its knees?
The Oz books were originally written for children, but became classics for all ages, eventually being made into several unforgettable movies. “The Wizard of Oz” movie of 1939 went on to become one of the most watched movies in cinematic history. If you are a fan of L. Frank Baum’s books, or even if you’ve never read them before, this new novel with its compelling characters and their camaraderie, seemingly impossible obstacles and exciting fates will keep you captivated in this uncommon fantasy world.
Keep checking for future updates on this forthcoming novel!
Solitaire
VISIT MY NEW WEBSITE!!!
Hello Readers! The new website is now up and running! So come visit and read the latest news about the Dragomeir Books, as well as the Larger World Series, and much more. You’ll find my Blog, Fun Facts and Extras, and discover what books are forthcoming. See you at the website!
Solitaire
Have any questions or things you’d like to know about? Contact me!
New Website Coming Very Soon!
Hello fellow readers! Can you believe it’s nearly September already? Labor Day is nearly upon us. We’re watching Summer pass us by and we’re heading into Fall again. Well, at least some of the country gets to enjoy the autumn time of year. Those of us who live in Arizona are still stuck in the “hot” time-warp zone.
Time does fly when you have a million ideas in your head and are trying to get your thoughts together for additional books, not to mention, “life” tends to hand us a myriad of interruptions every day. I Just wanted to let you know that I’ve been really busy lately putting together an entirely new Website. The new site will be easier to navigate and give you all kinds of engaging information about my books and a host of other topics and practical tips. You’ll be able to read the latest updates, purchase books, read the current blog entries, go to my shop – The Omnicon, contact me, or just peruse the extras page for surprising or just plain fun information. So stay tuned and join me for a few diversions, along with the latest information about the Dragomeir Series and some forthcoming new books! It’ll be up soon, so keep in touch and have a great day!
I hope you’ll join me at www.solitaireparke.com.
Solitaire
